Navigating Mental Health Through Recovery and Amputation: Building a Resilient Life
My journey with mental health began at the age of 13 when I confided in my parents about my desire to end my life. Unfortunately, instead of getting the help I desperately needed, I was met with punishment. Life moved forward, but my struggles persisted. Even as I built what seemed like a successful life—complete with a fulfilling career and two wonderful kids—the darkness never fully retreated. Periodically, I spiral downward, overwhelmed by the urge to end everything.
2020 was tough for many of us; destroyed by the loss of work, loss of child support and the end of school for my children, I spiraled. I found myself on the brink of destruction. I attempted to drink away the pain. It was a desperate attempt to escape the overwhelming darkness that had engulfed me. I had grown used to depression and anxiety; they were a constant companion since I was 13, with severe suicidal thoughts never far away. But that night marked a turning point. The next day, April 2nd I vowed to stop drinking, embarking on a journey of sobriety and self-discovery. Knowing that this life might not be something I wanted to but that desperate drunkenness was also not for me. So ended my ‘functional’ alcoholic.
Navigating sobriety wasn't easy. I tried Alcoholics Anonymous, but the then online format didn't initially resonate with me. Eventually, I found my way to an AA group that felt right—a community that helped me stay emotionally sober and supported me to find faith in a power greater than myself; this gave me the strength and hope to move along my journey. But first, my journey tested me more.
Later in 2020, my delicate foot bones collapsed, the many surgeries trying to salvage my deformed leg had failed, and I was faced with a decision. On February 18, 2021, I underwent amputation surgery. Suddenly, I found myself grappling with a new set of challenges. Limb loss triggered grief, anger, and a profound sense of loss. The trauma of this and many other surgeries complicated my mental health journey even further. Through plant-based interventions, weekly therapy, and support from organizations like Less Leg More Heart, days turned into weeks, weeks, months, and then months, years.
Through all this, I have learned the essential components that support to live a life I want to live. Being outside is essential—it changes my environment, gets me in nature, and releases endorphins. Journaling has become a lifeline for me. It's where I practice compassionate self-talk and give myself the support and grace I need. Friends are also a crucial part of my support system, but sometimes, I just need to be alone with my thoughts, and that's when journaling comes in handy. I also struggle to trust people sometimes, and so two years ago, the adoption of my beautiful mutt dog brought me companionship and support like no other. Always ready for a game of fetch and the never-ending need for walks has helped me increase my physical activity, which is part of my mental health picture.
Meditation and yoga have also become non-optional components for me. They help me stay grounded and centered, especially during challenging times. Treating myself to simple pleasures like coffee or chocolate has also been an important element. I have a go-to outfit, comfort food, and a protein bar that I carry with me for emergencies. As I have learned, when I get too hungry, everything falls apart.
Understanding what supports me didn’t happen overnight, but the time and effort have been worth it. Recovery is a journey filled with ups and downs, but through it all, I've learned to be resilient and to hold onto hope.
If you're struggling with your mental health, know that you're not alone. Reach out for help, whether it's through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends. Recovery is possible, and you deserve to live a life filled with hope, joy, and purpose.
Elayna Alexandra is an executive leadership coach, strategist, and writer who leverages neuroscience, ontological coaching, and practical real-world experience. Visit her online at www.elaynaalexandra.com or on Instagram at @elaynaalexandra